[Lucifer Morningstar]
Looks like you could use some help
From the Big Boss of Hell himself
Check out Daddy’s glowing reviews on Yelp
(Five Stars! Flawless! Greater than great!)
Oh, with a punch of a pentagram
I wap bap boom, alakazam
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb
But you get the family rate!
Thanks, Dad
Who needs a busboy now that you’ve got the chef?
(Woh-oh-oh!)
Michelin tasting menu free a la carte
I’ll rig the game for you because I’m the ref!
Champagne fountains
Caviar mountains
That’s just a start!
[Alastor]
Who’s been here since day one?
Who’s been faithful as a nun?
Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun?
Your executive producer
[Charlie]
That’s true!
[Alastor]
I’m your guy, your day-to-day
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier
Remember when I fixed that clog today?
[Niffty]
I was stuck, thank you, sir!
[Charlie]
Oh you!
[Alastor]
I’m truly honored that we’ve built such a bond
[Charlie]
Aaww!
[Alastor]
You’re like the child that I wish that I had
[Lucifer]
Uh, what?
[Alastor]
I care for you just like a daughter, I spawned
[Lucifer]
Hold on now!
[Alastor]
It’s a little funny
You could almost call me
Dad!
[Alastor]
They say when you’re looking for assistance
It’s smart to pick the path of least resistance
[Lucifer]
Others say that in your needy hour
There’s no substitute for pure angelic power!
Who just happens to also be your blood!
[Alastor]
Sadly, there are times
A birth parent is a dud
They say the family you choose is better
[Lucifer]
What a bunch of losers!
[Alastor]
Can you butt out of my song?
[Lucifer]
Your song? I started this!
[Alastor]
I’m singing it, I’ll finish it!
[Lucifer]
Oh, you tacky piece of—!
[Mimzy]
It’s me!
Yes, it’s me!
I know you were all waiting for me!
I’m here!
What a gas!
Took a while, but I’m present at last!
It’s me!
It’s me!
Mimzzyy!
[Lucifer]
Who?
